48. On politics: A little serious. A little silly.

The Serious Stuff

Sometimes when I get in the mood to write, I know what I want to write about but not how I want to write about it. Do I want to do a full-on essay? Do I want to make it conversational? Am I ranting about stuff, and do I just need to get my thoughts out in whatever form that ends up taking? Should I do something creative? Maybe a poem would do. Do I start with a “dear diary?” Maybe I should start doing that and see what happens.

You could always do one where you pretend like you’re talking to yourself.

Nah, not this time, Brain, but thank you.

No problem. You know where to find me, Boo Boo. *goes back to FAP’ing*

Sometimes the difficulty in not knowing how I want to write about something is because the thought in my head that gave me the initial spark of an idea isn’t actually all that good a thought in the first place. Most of those don’t even end up as posts at all. But the ones that do typically just evaporate into nothingness. I do that a lot.

Sometimes my difficulty in writing about something is because I start writing and end up getting bored halfway through and then run out of gas, regardless of how good or bad the initial idea was. These kinds of posts always sit in my drafts folder. Sometimes I come back to them and finish them. Sometimes they die on the vine.

Sometimes, though, the topic I’m writing about is just too big a topic to really write about on a blog and then I either have to make a conscious effort to sit down and fully commit to finishing what I started, or I have to make a conscious decision to abandon what I’m writing before I end up going and going and going and going and going with no end in sight. “This is a blog, not a novel,” I have to keep reminding myself.  

My thoughts on the upcoming election and the current state of our politics hit all of those above categories, but I think the last point is the one that applies here the most. I have so many thoughts on the upcoming election that I need to get out, but I can sense that if I’m not careful, this could end up going way, way, way long. Because I have thoughts. Lots of thoughts. Soooooooo many thoughts… all of the thoughts.

And every time I try and write about how I feel and what I think about the upcoming election, I can feel the gravitational pull of a 6,000+ word manifesto creeping into my head. Just thinking about the upcoming election; I can feel my blood pressure rise to my eardrums. I better be careful that this doesn’t become a Manifesto. I’m not super hot on the FBI stuffing me into an interrogation room because I was in a particularly foul mood one day.

I need to work to keep this a pretty manageable post, but I also need to be on guard that this doesn’t end up being one of those posts where I get all judgy and/or particularly finger pointy and/or particularly dad-style “well that’s what happens when you (fill in the blank with political annoyance)” shaming. None of that is all that fun for me to write and definitely not fun for anyone to read.

So here I am, yet again, struggling through yet another political post.

But maybe I’m just making this too hard on myself. I don’t really need 4,000 words to give my thoughts on the upcoming election. I can probably just be pretty concise and to the point and knock it out in a few different bullet points. I do have something fun and creative on politics that I want to do, though, so keep reading beyond the bullet points if you’re interested in that. But my quick thoughts on the upcoming election? I think I can knock this out. I think. I hope?

Here goes nothing…

I can’t fathom that this election is actually close, but poll after poll shows that it is. I know that right-wing pollsters are flooding the zone with favorable polls to indicate a close race as a way of both driving up and suppressing voter turnout, so I keep having to remind myself of that. And I have to keep reminding myself that every election post-2016 has gone a little more favorably for Democrats than polls indicated (although 2020 was kind of wonky — but hey, that was a pandemic). I think that is going to happen here and Vice President Harris is going to win all the necessary blue wall states she needs to win, with states like Georgia, Arizona, and Nevada being a little more nail-bitey.

But even with that knowledge, things are closer than they should be, and I’ll just repeat my above statement that I can’t fathom that this race is actually close. That this race is essentially a coin flip basically proves just how broken our politics really are. Who broke our politics and how long it’s been broken (hint: mostly the GOP with Mitch McConnell steering the wheel), that’s a post for a different day, but our politics are broken and possibly broken beyond repair. I was thinking the other day how small stuff used to really matter more than it should have, but now big (HUGE!) things matter way less than they should. Former VP Dan Quayle once had a gaffe where he misspelled “Potato” with an “e” and was basically laughed out of politics for the rest of his life. Remember Howard Dean’s yell? What about John Kerry windsurfing? But now? A sitting President can incite a full-on riot on the Capitol on January 6^th and somehow this person is a coin flip away from being president again. Things should matter. Things need to matter.

How many former Trump cabinet members are either endorsing his opponent and/or have been sounding the alarm on just how dangerous Trump was and will be again if he wins the presidency? That should matter. That needs to matter. How Trump handled the Covid-19 pandemic should matter. Allllll of Trump’s disastrous presidency (how every day was a new nightmare, how he presided as a party leader instead of a president of all, the impeachments) should matter. The fact that he repeatedly says nakedly obvious authoritarian style stuff… that should fucking matter. Pardon my language, but facts are facts. That we can’t, as a country, as a whole people, see black and white things clearly and soberly and then accurately weigh them electorally is a sign that we might actually be broken-broken. That thought makes me simultaneously sad and uncontrollably anxious. It keeps me up at night.

I keep coming back to how “I just can’t.” I can’t. I just can’t. I just can’t fathom that this race is actually close and, in some instances, show Trump leading in many of the swing states he needs to win. There’s kind of a creeping nihilism in how nothing really matters politically and if Trump somehow manages to win this election; I genuinely feel like the great American experiment of representative democracy is over. Strongmen style leaders don’t just win their elections and have everything go back to normal. I’m not saying we’re going to dip into 1930s Nazi Germany style fascism or end up like modern-era Russia under Putin, but something new will take the place of the kind of government we’ve had since our founding. We should be a lot more terrified than we are. That we seem to be sleepwalking into this election… that should terrify all of us. I. Just. Can’t.

I sometimes wonder if Trump were to just spontaneously disappear tonight, what would our politics be like? Sometimes it feels like the rightwing MAGA voters are so tied to him specifically that I don’t know what happens to the GOP once he’s no longer on the national scene. Someone will obviously try and take his place once he’s out of the national picture (god willing, on November 6th) but will that person have the same hold on the MAGA crowd that Trump has?

What about the Democrats? I keep hearing people say “the Democrats need to stand for something instead of just being anti-Trump,” but I honestly don’t really know what the fuck people are talking about. The Democrats constantly have issue-upon-issue-upon well thought out issue that they tout and talk about at every campaign stop they make. But let’s say for the sake of argument that they actually didn’t have campaign websites chock full of “where we stand on the issues” pages, isn’t opposing an authoritarian strongman enough? Because it feels like doing just that should be enough. That’s more than enough. I mean, I definitely get it. I’m not dumb. I know what people mean when they say that. I wish we could have these high-minded campaigns where we address our issues and the other side addresses theirs. But opposing Trump should be enough. As long as he is in politics, this will always be the dynamic. He sucks up all of the oxygen in the room and makes it all about him, whether we like that or not.

So those are my thoughts. I could give you more, but I don’t really have the want or energy to spend the next 3,000 words catastrophizing for all to see. My paranoia and my anxieties, while maybe justified in many cases, are just that; mine. That kind of stuff doesn’t do me or you any good. Plus, just because I’m feeling that dread and anxiety right now doesn’t mean that I’ll be feeling the same way tomorrow. I actually do think VP Harris is going to win and I think we’ll continue on with this political song and dance for another four years. But right now? At this instant? I’m very much feeling that dread and fear. That’s enough from Comrade McKibben.

The Silly Stuff

Allllllllllllllllllllllll of the above stuff being said, I do want to do something a little more fun here. Sometimes when the sky is falling, you grab a basket and turn those acorns into trees. Every so often in my normal day to day routine, I’ll find myself at a location or place that feels like a specific candidate or a specific kind of politics. Does that make sense? Like I’ll be at a store and I think to myself “if this place became sentient, what would it think? More specifically, what would its politics be?” With all of that set up being said, I thought it’d be kind of fun to do a post where I put that question to many of the places we all visit on a regular basis.

If this store or place could somehow become sentient and vote, who would this place or store vote for?

Big Box Stores: Target and Walmart

The stores themselves: Let’s start off with an easy one. Walmart would definitely vote for Trump, Target for Harris. In an effort to keep this civil, maybe I should stop there. We all kind of get why Walmart would vote for Trump and Target for Harris.

But to elaborate further; one store has guns and one store doesn’t. One store has an automotive shop attached to it and smells like tires. The store that has the guns and tires and car batteries and the family friendly DVD section; that’s a Trump voter.

Target, though, is a little sunnier and brighter, both in actual luminescence of the store’s lights, but also in the brightness of the clothes and housewares that line the aisles. It’s just a brighter place. I don’t mean “bright” in the intelligence sense of the word, but when you look at a Democratic rally and a Trump rally; the difference in attendees is pretty striking. Lots of racial diversity. Lots of age diversity. But Democrats also know how to put the shine on stage with backdrops and whatnot. That feels more Harris voter to me, than Walmart, which can feel kind of drab and monochromatic.

Target also has Pride shirts and Black Lives Matter stuff. Or at least they used to before the conservative backlash made them backtrack on some of that merch. …If I’m keeping it 100% here, bowing to backlash is honestly kind of a Democratic thing to do, too.

Target has Tabitha Brown stuff. Walmart has the Pioneer Woman. Target has Chip and Joanna Gaines. Walmart has Better Homes and Gardens. Target has Kendra Scott. Target clearly has the better-known names which is 100% a Democrat thing.

What about the clientele: The clientele that shops at Walmart and the clientele that shops at Target aren’t all that dissimilar from each other. I’ve actually gotten in real life arguments with people over this point, but I think it’s generally pretty true. But I will concede that you definitely see a lot more camouflage style hats at Walmart than you do at Target and you see a lot more Uggs at Target. Target just kind of screams suburban women looking at housewares while Walmart screams, I need to buy groceries but might also need to buy some fishing poles.

Buc-ee’s

The store itself: Buc-ee’s, sad to say, is 100% a Trump store. It sells deer blinds, smokers, fire pits, cheap gas, and 20 different kinds of beef jerky flavors. That’s a Trump voter.

Is there a Harris case to be made? Not really, but if you’re a liberal and live in Texas for most of your life, you’ll more than likely have that one friend who knows how to make their own jerky, has a freezer full of deer meat in their garage, and owns a closet full of guns, but is also somehow, someway a lifelong Democrat. But those people are definitely the exception, not the rule. It’d be a stretch to say Buc-ee’s is anything but a Trump voting store.

What about the clientele: Yeah, everyone shops at Buc-ee’s, so Buc-ee’s shoppers probably span the political spectrum. Everyone likes delicious trail mix and a perfectly made brisket sandwiches. A clean shitter is a clean shitter no matter who you vote for. But that second half of the store that sells all that Buc-ee’s adorned merch; that side screams Trump voter.

Trader Joe’s

The store itself: Oh, it’s Harris. Trader Joe’s is more of a slam dunk for Harris than Buc-ee’s was for Trump. I feel like I should make the case, but doesn’t this one just feel right? There are a lot of obvious differences between the two parties, but one of the most fun and obvious ones (to me) is how many of the “fun” things we partake of on a daily basis are made by Democrats. Musicians, actors, artists, and comedians… almost all universally Democratic voters. That’s kind of Trader Joe’s thing. Lots of unique varieties of products and whatnot. I mean, can you imagine Kid Rock shooting any off-brand beer purchased from Trader Joe’s like he did to that Bud Light merch that one time. That store wouldn’t even be on his radar.

What about the clientele: I honestly think Trader Joe’s might be the one place in America where if you wore a red Make America Great Again hat in, you’d get your ass kicked.

Whole Foods

The store itself: Look y’all, it would have been hard for me to do a post on 2024 politics in America and not mention Jill Stein, but Whole Foods, as a store, is so thoroughly a Jill Stein voter that it’s not even funny. We think of Whole Foods as this cool and hip place (as it once, proudly was) but when you get right down to it, Whole Foods is owned by Amazon, much in the same way Jill Stein is funded by… *takes a deep breath* I said I was going to keep this civil.

There’s kind of a fakeness that exists in Whole Foods now that used to not really be there. Whole Foods, like the Green Party, once started out as this entity that seemed like it could change the world. Now? I think they actually do more damage than good. The case I’m making is strained. This one kind of falls apart, I think. But it makes emotional if not intellectual sense, to me. I don’t know… like… I could easily see a Stein voter be the type of person who makes the case that organic ice cream sandwiches are somehow healthier for you than non-organic ones, even though they’re made with the same ingredients and have the same calorie count.

What about the clientele: I made a pledge earlier to keep this civil so I’m 100% going to quit while I’m ahead here. Let’s just say Stein voters aren’t my favorite people this year. Neither are RFK Jr supporters. This was the hardest one because I just can’t wrap my head around people supporting the kinds of stuff Stein voters and RFK Jr voters support, but then working (inadvertently or not) to help elect Donald Trump.

Magnolia Market

The store itself and the clientele: I recently visited this place for the first time, and it was quite an experience. If you’ve never been there, Magnolia Market is essentially Mecca for basic white women who like large ass candles that that have scents like ginger, orange, and vanilla in them. (real talk: their candles smell fucking AMAZING!!!!) If you ever wanted a bathroom where you could take a shit surrounded by shiplap walls and pressed tin ceilings, Magnolia Market is your place. While the store itself is neutral politically, if ever a place existed where the wife votes for Harris and the husband votes for Trump, it’s Magnolia Market. If I’m reading the store correctly, this feels a little more conservative in nature. There’s definitely a “I just want it to be November and December alllll the time” vibe. So, to me, that feels conservative. I know intellectually that that’s basically everyone. But … I mean… I can’t even begin to count how many Karen haircuts I saw at that place.

But maybe, more accurately, Magnolia Market feels like a dynamic where the woman voter would typically vote a little more conservatively but is either out-and-out outraged at Trump (and the Dobbs Decision) or is just kind of exhausted by his overt sexism so is voting for the Democrat after she supported Trump in 2016. That’s the vibe of the store, I think.

What about the clientele: I already touched on that above, but this feels like a store where the vote splits within the house; the wife votes for Harris, the husband for Trump. Magnolia Market is essentially the Big Dumb Hat sketch from Saturday Night Live come to life. And in my experience, the Big Dumb Hat women (and the equally hilarious Big Dumb Cup women) are typically married to men who have a healthy supply of olive green “Thin Blue Line” shirts and are the kinds of dads who yell at the umpires at their kids’ little league games. That screams Trump voter, to me.  

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So, there you have it. My disjointed, all over the map feelings on the upcoming election. I don’t know how I’m going to make it these next few weeks. Between checking polls on news sites and flipping through the channels on the television, it’s going to be an endless barrage of nonsense between now and November 5^th.

And like always, I wish there was a way where I could put myself on a coma on November 5^th, because I just don’t know how I’m going to be anything other than a mess that day. Maybe I’ll go into the woods and just Zen out for a few hours. Nothing better than staring into a well-made campfire to get my mind right. But I also know that the pull of checking my phone would be too great and that it’d be anything but a relaxing experience.

What’s a guy to do? We’ll find out soon. Real soon. Too soon. Are we ready?