35. Nonsense

Note: I’ve simultaneously been on a hip-hop kick AND a Monty Python wackiness kick, so decided to take an edible and write some (stupid) hip-hop lyrics. Emphasis on stuuuuupid (in a way I enjoy, I’m not ripping on myself). Enjoy…

The stupid words with more turds than a porta-potty
Sentences all mixed up like Mr. Rogers with a knife doing karate
Nibble on my ear
listen to what I say
Better than a BJ as you pray
with an open Bible bought for discount on eBay

Choking on a chicken wing ‘cuz it’s way spicy
Wash it all down with NBA Jam and all the Hi-C that I see
One player NES controller
One lonely Beastie I be
Like Paul Revere I go all night
One hand by land, two hands by sea

State your case
But please state it poorly
Laugh at stupid shit like you’re Sona Movesian and Matt Gourley
Jump into a pool ‘cuz I need a bath
Put the Bell curve in a Jar like Sylvia Plath doing bar graphs

I got a MasturCard, so put your digits in
Put me on a sick beat, get more hits than Tony Gwynn
A one-man band quartet with a trombone
And a trumpet, a kazoo
Golden brass sexaphone to make you moan

What’s the difference between you and me
I laugh at dumb shit
You laugh at me
I stutter in my sleep I trip all in my dreams
You live in a Slack world, but your brain’s still stuck on Teams

Fuck it, whatever, I wait for no one
I take a shot of whiskey
Then soak up some sun
Comb my hair with my fingers on my bony hands
Couldn’t afford Air Jordans but went to Payless
Got those off-brands

What we have here is a failure to re-populate
Haven’t farted in a while
Saving it up for my physical
check the prostate